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Okay, so a little while ago I made a to-do-list for some things I was gonna review, the Twilight series being one of them. I started on New Moon and I read for an about an hour and got up to about page 73. It was at this point I screamed, “Fuck it, there is no way I can do this!”. I apologize I know a lot of you want to here me rant and rave about how awful the Twilight series is but there is no way. The book is boring and dull as all hell. Nothing happens, absolutely bloody NOTHING! And it isn’t even the actual story that is making me not want to read it, (although that is shitty too) it’s the fact that Stephenie Meyer spends so much time and space telling us about things that don’t even matter. A lot of Twitards have been butt hurt over Stephen King “bashing” Twilight (more like criticism amirite gaiz?) and they have said that his books are boring, however, even if he takes time to tell a scene he at least does it for things that are important scenes. But Stephenie Meyer takes forever to tell scenes that don’t even matter.

Ugh, I’m done, that’s a rant at least.

TTITN

(^_^)v

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The cover to The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection From the Living Dead

Imagine yourself in a bookstore, not really looking for anything in particular. You walk by a section titled “Humor”, as you look through the books on the shelf you see one that stands out in your mind. It is a small book with a white cover, there is an M1 Garand and a machete crossed in the shape of an “X”. Above it you see text, it strikes you as odd, it says: The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection From the Living Dead. “Huh? Complete Protection From the Living Dead?” you say in your mind, or possibly aloud. “Is this guy serious?” You pick up the book and start flipping through it laughing to yourself.

You decide to read it and take it up to the cashier and purchase this fine piece of literature. After getting home you sit down, or lay down, and start reading. After a while you aren’t laughing, but instead you realize that despite you found this is the “Humor” section this book is no joke. The Zombie Survival Guide is really an instruction manual like any survival book to help you survive the Zombie Apocalypse. Congratulations! You now have a higher chance of surviving Z-Day, but remember keep the Guide close, and always keep it with you.

Written by Max Brooks, son of Mel Brooks, this is the ultimate guide to surviving Z-Day, and is approved by me, the author of an unpublished novel about zombies: Z-Day (and I used the Guide as a reference for Z-Day). Not that an unpublished writer’s opinion really matters but I’m trying to say that this is a great book, it really is Complete Protection From the Living Dead. This book is pretty cheap, but is one day the zombies do come with this Guide you will be ready.

TTITN

(^_^)v

978-0312944926Digital Fortress is a novel written by Dan Brown famous for writing The Da Vinci Code. This novel was published in 1998, by Thomas Dunne Books.

Susan Fletcher and David Becker have been engaged for the past 5 months and plan to take a holiday on the Smoky Mountains at a resort, however, their plans are cut short when David gets a business call to go off to Spain, he says it will be a quick job and they can leave by the next day. While waiting Susan gets a call from the Deputy Director of the NSA (National Security Agency) calling her in on her day off. When she gets to the Cryptography floor of the NSA the Deputy Director tells her that he has been at Crypto all night trying to bust an algorithm, that not even their super computer, TRANSLTR, could break. This is Digital Fortress, created by Ensei Tankado, a former NSA member who Strathmore fired. Meanwhile, David finds out that Tankado is dead and the pass-key for the unbreakable algorithm is missing, from here it turns into a race to find the pass-key before Digital Fortress becomes public.

My thoughts on the book are this: Holy shit this has more twists than a film by M. Night Shamalan. Dan Brown did a really good job with this novel especially near the end, whoo, there are so many twists and turns right at the end. Things about characters being revealed that you never would have guessed. And David’s chase to find the pass-key, damn, that is so aggravating when the key just slips away. Also there’s the villain, he’s a deaf mercenary sent to track David until he finds the pass-key, kill all people who have seen the ring and kill David to get it. After reading this I realized it was  a lot more vulgar than other Dan Brown novels, “fuck” and other swear words were used a lot more than is his other novels that I’ve read, and there is a lot of violence, so I’d say 13+ but that’s just my opinion on the content, books don’t have content ratings so it’s up to you. But back on topic this a very good novel and I would recommend it to anyone who’s looking for a good thriller or is a fan of Dan Brown like myself.

Without wax,

Master Of Strings

A Trip Back In Time

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The tale of three teenager, one blog, and a never ending hatred for popular media. Of you know me IRL than you know we don't usually act like this, but this is OUR safe haven of the internet to express our opinions and put up what we want. PLEASE, do not leave dumbass comments if either (A) We like something you don't like or (B) We hate something you like, let us spell it out for you Y-O-U W-I-L-L B-E B-L-O-C-K-E-D. Get it. And if you wish to request something from me, ask, do not demand.

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